Bond
02-02-2004, 11:09 AM
How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners?
Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds
before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question...
-- Does the man look poor or oppressed?
-- Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
-- Could we run away?
-- What does my wife think?
-- What about the kids?
-- Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
-- What does the law say about this situation?
-- Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
-- Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send
to society and to my children?
-- Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
-- Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
-- If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
-- Should I call 9-1-1?
-- Why is this street so deserted?
-- We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier,
healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
-- This is all so confusing!
-- I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click...(sounds of reloading)...
Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving...What do you kids think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click.
Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds
before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question...
-- Does the man look poor or oppressed?
-- Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
-- Could we run away?
-- What does my wife think?
-- What about the kids?
-- Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
-- What does the law say about this situation?
-- Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
-- Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send
to society and to my children?
-- Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
-- Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
-- If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
-- Should I call 9-1-1?
-- Why is this street so deserted?
-- We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier,
healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
-- This is all so confusing!
-- I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click...(sounds of reloading)...
Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving...What do you kids think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click.
Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"