Weis1
10-11-2003, 08:33 AM
SOUTHERN HUMOR
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40
and says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "'Bout
what?"
******
Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one
is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy
Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?" "Jes' some chickens." "If I
guesses how many they is, kin I have one?" "Shoot, if ya
guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!"
"OK. Ummmmm...five?"
******
An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire. He
rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and
shouted, "Hurry over here - muh house is on fahr!" "OK,"
replied the fireman, "how do we get there?" "Shucks, don't
you fellers still have those big red trucks?"
******
Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of
18 or more? Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
******
Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911-operator told Bubba
that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked
the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive. " The operator
asked, "Can you spell that for me?" After a long pause, Bubba said, "How
'bout I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
****
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
******
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
Documentaries
******
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas. If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
******
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery? The winner
gets $3 a year for a million years.
*******
A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple
gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
******
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in
Florida have in common? No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.
******
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink," and the
person at the front desk says, "Go ahead".
I hope you enjoyed this redneck humor as much as I did.
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40
and says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "'Bout
what?"
******
Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one
is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy
Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?" "Jes' some chickens." "If I
guesses how many they is, kin I have one?" "Shoot, if ya
guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!"
"OK. Ummmmm...five?"
******
An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire. He
rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and
shouted, "Hurry over here - muh house is on fahr!" "OK,"
replied the fireman, "how do we get there?" "Shucks, don't
you fellers still have those big red trucks?"
******
Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of
18 or more? Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
******
Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911-operator told Bubba
that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked
the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive. " The operator
asked, "Can you spell that for me?" After a long pause, Bubba said, "How
'bout I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
****
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
******
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
Documentaries
******
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas. If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
******
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery? The winner
gets $3 a year for a million years.
*******
A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple
gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
******
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in
Florida have in common? No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.
******
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink," and the
person at the front desk says, "Go ahead".
I hope you enjoyed this redneck humor as much as I did.