Zero Tolerance
09-22-2003, 04:27 PM
Daimler-Khrysler Anunsment
Directors at Daimler Benz and Chrysler have announced an agreement to adopt English as the preferred language for communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Directors at Chrysler conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase in plan.
In the first year, s will be used instead of the soft c. Also, the hard c will be replased with k. Not only will this klear up Konfusion, but computers kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing kompany enthusiasm in the second year when the troublesome ph will be replased by f . This will make words like fotograf 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, Daimler-Khrysler akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Daimler-Khrysler will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horrible mes of silent e in the language is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the forth year, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing th with z and w with v.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary o kan be droped from vords containing ou, and similiar shanges vud of kors be aplid to al ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis und employes vil find it ezi to komunikat viz ech ozer.
Ov korse al suppliers vil be expected to svitsh to zis for all busines komunikation via Daimler-Khrysler.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
Directors at Daimler Benz and Chrysler have announced an agreement to adopt English as the preferred language for communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Directors at Chrysler conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase in plan.
In the first year, s will be used instead of the soft c. Also, the hard c will be replased with k. Not only will this klear up Konfusion, but computers kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing kompany enthusiasm in the second year when the troublesome ph will be replased by f . This will make words like fotograf 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, Daimler-Khrysler akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Daimler-Khrysler will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horrible mes of silent e in the language is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the forth year, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing th with z and w with v.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary o kan be droped from vords containing ou, and similiar shanges vud of kors be aplid to al ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis und employes vil find it ezi to komunikat viz ech ozer.
Ov korse al suppliers vil be expected to svitsh to zis for all busines komunikation via Daimler-Khrysler.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.