JoeCool
08-01-2003, 11:08 AM
The following are actual stories provided by a retiring
Washington, DC travel agent of 30+ years:
I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat on the
airplane so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
window.
I got a call from a Candidate's Staffer, who wanted to go to
Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the
passport information. She interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you
look
stupid, but Cape town is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her
look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in
Massachusetts, Cape town is in Africa." Her response ...(click).
A Senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not
possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I
looked on the map, and Florida is a very
thin state!!!"
I got a call from a Lawmakers Wife who asked, "Is it possible to see
England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on
the map.
An Aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked if they could
rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed they only
had a 1-hour layover in
Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard
Dallas was a big airport, and
we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time."
An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was
possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago
at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour
ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane
went very fast, and she bought that!
A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?"
I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in
with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said [FAT), and
I'm overweight, I think that is very rude?" After putting her on hold for
a minute while I "looked into it"(I was actually laughing). I came back
and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the
airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
A Senator's Aide called in inquiring about a trip package to Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly
to California and then take the
train to Hawaii?"
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How
do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to
which he replied, "I was
told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on
them."
A Lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do I
have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she
meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah,
whatever!!"
A Senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he
needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been
to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double
checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him
this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have
accepted my American Express!"
A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go
from Chicago to Rhino, New York" The agent was at a loss for words.
Finally, the agent: "Are
you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?"
replied the lady. After some
searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up
every airport code in the
country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh don't be
silly!
Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map
of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do
you?"
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she admitted!!!
Now you know why the government is in the shape that it's in
Washington, DC travel agent of 30+ years:
I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat on the
airplane so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
window.
I got a call from a Candidate's Staffer, who wanted to go to
Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the
passport information. She interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you
look
stupid, but Cape town is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her
look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in
Massachusetts, Cape town is in Africa." Her response ...(click).
A Senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not
possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I
looked on the map, and Florida is a very
thin state!!!"
I got a call from a Lawmakers Wife who asked, "Is it possible to see
England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on
the map.
An Aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked if they could
rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed they only
had a 1-hour layover in
Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard
Dallas was a big airport, and
we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time."
An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was
possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago
at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour
ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane
went very fast, and she bought that!
A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?"
I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in
with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said [FAT), and
I'm overweight, I think that is very rude?" After putting her on hold for
a minute while I "looked into it"(I was actually laughing). I came back
and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the
airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
A Senator's Aide called in inquiring about a trip package to Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly
to California and then take the
train to Hawaii?"
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How
do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to
which he replied, "I was
told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on
them."
A Lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do I
have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she
meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah,
whatever!!"
A Senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he
needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been
to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double
checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him
this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have
accepted my American Express!"
A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go
from Chicago to Rhino, New York" The agent was at a loss for words.
Finally, the agent: "Are
you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?"
replied the lady. After some
searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up
every airport code in the
country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh don't be
silly!
Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map
of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do
you?"
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she admitted!!!
Now you know why the government is in the shape that it's in